A Good Mentor

I would like to revisit a concept that is important to all past, present, and future IT professionals.  I have tried and succeeded many times to connect people with each other.  No great stretch, since I am a recruiter after all.  But, what I am relating is matching up mentors with protégés.  There is no money in it for me really, just helping people: that’s one of my faults.  I have spoken with competitors and detractors, hearing from them that every their action needs to generate income.  So, foolish as it might sound, it’s just the right thing to do in my world.  Since I know so many IT professionals around the world, it’s a logical thing to help with.  Yet, for all my efforts in locating mentors I had not given much time to sharing my thoughts on what makes a good mentor. Who would make a good mentor seems to be easy enough. A successful IT professional with a few years under his heels would be a good start, the person who has been in the industry for some time. He will have certifications or none at all, but he will have developed a certain amount of wisdom in our ever changing IT world.  There is no shortage of people who have watched the emerging technologies take hold and have an impact on the real world. While more recently certified IT professionals will have recent exam experience, they do not have the mileage that develops wisdom.  Yet, we know a few of those people attract the interest of upstarts, but do they know what makes a good mentor?

What makes a good mentor?

I have been told a happy protégé or mentee is a good indicator of a good mentor.  What should a mentor bring to the table? A good ear is a requirement because listening skills and the ability to carry on an active dialogue with an upstart is the foundation of a good mentor. A mentor is not expected to know everything, but being an active listener is very important.

What is an active listener?

When you are with good friends or family, and carrying on a conversation, the dialogue is probably easy and flows back and forth building on whatever subject you are chewing over. That is active listening. Responding on a theme and building on the subject involves active listening.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Criticism

Constructive criticism may be involved when helping an upstart navigate from point A to B. Criticism is not a bad thing if applied properly, but remember to avoid being harsh. Helping the recipient of the criticism realize the origins and then understand them is very important. But more important is that the protégé learns from the criticism. So ask questions, lots of questions to more fully understand the critical thinking behind any event or action requiring criticism.
Active listening is very important to understand the protégé's thinking.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Get Personal

A mentor may observe some personal obstacle or pattern of behavior that is not based upon technology. Getting personal might be needed for the mentor to make his or her efforts effective. So, be prepared to deliver an example of work/life balance you or a peer employed successfully.  Helping the protégé become self-aware, independent, realize a purpose and experience success is the goal of any good mentor.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Match Making

A good match is usually found in the less formal pairings. Forced mentoring does not often lead to a lasting mentor relationship. Anyone who is willing to try his hand at being a mentor has a good start, because time is so short for any successful IT professional.  We always have demands upon our time and it is precious. There is a cycle to mentoring which begins with building a relationship.  So don't dive into technology immediately, instead get to know each other. Talk shop after you have established a rapport and know a little bit about each other. Understanding the goal of your relationship is established during this first stage of mentoring.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Road Map

Direction is a big second step. Make sure that you both understand and establish direction and the mentor's level of support. A motivated protégé is a good protégé, just don't get stuck doing all his work. Research and discovery are not the mentor's job.  Progress towards these established goals needs to have mile stones and a way to measure progress.  Make sure to establish some indicators of progress. If you need help establishing indicators then you need to have the dialogue with the protégé.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Bye-Bye

Be prepared for the end. You may reach the point where the goals have been achieved and there is really nothing left to do. Be ready for this phase.  The length of time you have spent together may be short or long but the separation will have its own sentiment.  The reason for the pairing had a goal, and the thrill of victory has outrun the potential agony of defeat.  It can be rewarding to realize you have actually helped someone with her future.  Always, be an active listener. This is a great skill and it does not come easy to all of us. Learning to listen is something a protégé can teach you.  Active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!

Mentoring: The Movie

When we spend a lot of time talking, we often forget to listen.  You can hear a lot with your ears and you can hear a lot with your eyes.  Take time learning to listen.  If you do not reach the level of communications that are easy and comfortable, then examine your motivators. Look at the symptoms if things don’t feel right.  Hear with your eyes.  Do your suggestions go unheeded; do the efforts on your part seem to bear no fruit?  Are you the reason your protégé is still employed?  Will you need a mentor to be a good mentor?  No?  Why are you going through this?  If your motivation does not come from within then you have a tough row to hoe.  Is there a solution for that?  I won’t touch that question with a ten foot pole.

Oh, did I mention that active listening will take the relationship a long way. Expect to make mistakes and expect to grow and mature through mentoring!